You’re relaxing after a hard day at the office when suddenly you hear a commotion outside. You hear screams, moans, cars crashing, and things exploding.
You dash to the window to see what’s going on, and the scene that meets your eyes is one of fear-inducing chaos: Panic-stricken people are running in no particular direction and with seemingly no particular goal other than to run. In the distance there are clouds of smoke rising above the buildings, and you can see the flickering reflections of firelight all across the horizon. As you watch several stiffly walking figures approach, and the people flee before them, you suddenly realize what is going on: It’s the zombie apocalypse.
OK, don’t panic. You’ve seen countless movies, blogs, YouTube videos, and books about just this sort of occurrence. All of the conventional literature seems to focus on firepower, teamwork, and running away. But you’ve been to CEDIA. You have a different idea.
You run quickly into your home entertainment room and start firing everything up. Draper UL-certified projector lift and recessed screen with perforated, ISF-certified TecVision down. Sound on. Lights dimmed. But what to put in? You pick something with lots of effects—explosions, bright lights, and big sound.
When people are being chased around the neighborhood by a gaggle of grasping, smelly, angry, murderous, living cadavers, things like gain, contrast, viewing cone, lumens, decibels and equalization might not rise to the top of the list of subjects to consider. But you’d be wrong. Because if there’s one thing zombies love, it’s really big entertainment. They need the big and bright screen because, frankly, zombies’ eyesight sucks. The ISF certification of the screen is important because nothing enrages zombies like colors that aren’t true to the creator’s intent. Instead of sitting in a narrow viewing area, they prefer to stand menacingly, and spread out all around the room, so the view needs to be a good one from anywhere. And because their ears are little more than rotting flesh at this point, they need clear, big, bone-thumping audio to get those aural messages into their brain.
You grab a remote and raise the shades, then run to the window to watch what’s happening outside. The second the movie starts, you notice zombies and their potential victims alike start to look around for the source of the crystal clear sound booming out from the speakers behind your perforated TecVision surface. With the shades up, they can also now see the clear, bright, 4K picture through the windows. All the people who were running around in a panic come inside for a look.
The zombies are now confused, because the people they were chasing have disappeared. Then they also see the light through your window and come up to see what’s going on. Inside are the people they had been chasing, watching a movie. The zombies look … interested. You go and open the door for them, and they shuffle inside.
Soon, the zombies are watching the movie with the very people they had been chasing with murderous intent. They are holding drinks and popcorn and laughing … in a strangled, moaning sort of way. Someone pats a zombie on the back and his arm falls off. Everyone laughs.
One by one, you signal to the still-living people to sneak outside. The zombies, enthralled by your awesome home entertainment setup, don’t even notice.
Once outside, you call the authorities, who come and take care of the zombies with no problem.
Government officials, following up on your model, then set up large entertainment centers throughout the city. They work with Draper to have TecVision screens formulated to match the conditions needed for maximum zombie attraction. The zombies, starved for entertainment and drawn by the amazing experience made possible by all the Draper technology you found at CEDIA, come in seemingly endless streams. After what seems like an eternity they do stop coming—they are finally all inside the entertainment centers, watching—no, experiencing—home entertainment in a way they never thought possible as zombies. Peace reigns once again.
And just imagine—you almost decided to skip visiting Draper at CEDIA.
Don’t take any chances. Come to booth 364 at CEDIA 2014, September 9-13 in Denver, and see how Draper’s TecVision screen surfaces, UL-certified Scissor Lift, and other products might just help you survive the zombie apocalypse.
